Yesterday I had an appointment at Colchester Hospital, Essex to see the orthopaedic team, if you have read my blog before or if you know me, then you will know why. If not here’s a quick recap, I had a knee replacement in 2010 and since then my pain has been worse and I am laid up 24/7, the knee joint clonks and it triggers massive pain like a lightning storm through my leg and I have been trying to get an amputation.
So yesterday (1st Sept 16) I saw Mr Loeffler to see if it was something he would consider. I had a few x-rays and then saw his registrar, the usual history and leg examinations and then he went and briefed Mr Loeffler.
Unfortunately he was also very reluctant, I fully understand why but I am not going into this blindly. Mr Loeffler asked “what if you couldn’t move the leg” and I knew exactly where this was going. I have been offered a surgery to fuse my knee joint before, they think its a solution but I am 6′ 4″ and a leg that has no knee joint would make my life so difficult. Imagine being in a wheelchair with your leg (a long leg) stuck out straight, I also wouldn’t be able to get into our car or onto the toilet in our home.
I immediately told him it wasn’t an option and he then asked what about plastering my leg? Now things are awkward, imagine having your leg in plaster, I know he was trying to help but that in my opinion is a strange option.
Then we had a slight glimmer of light, Mr Loeffler said that the best people to perform an amputation are the vascular team. However he did say that the first step is to see a psychiatrist for a set amount of sessions and I fully agree, any doctor that performs an elective amputation would rightly need to know that my request isn’t born out of a mental health problem or from Body dysmorphic disorder (BDD).
So finally there is a light at the end of the tunnel, a chance that I will get the surgery that frees me. Yes the thought of amputation is scary, but the thought of living the way I am at the moment, well that’s unthinkable!