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I have been out about five times since November, doctors appointments and a friends funeral were the reason that I ventured out at all.
Winter is always a rough time but this year the summer wasn’t much better, for some reason I have been in and out of flares ups constantly and a five minute journey in the car sends my pain levels through the roof. Somehow you become used to not going out and one day rolls into another and the weeks pass seamlessly, social media and television keep me occupied and distract from the pain and my dog stays by my side as if he knows that I’m having a rough time.
Obviously my wife has to go out, food shopping, appointments and her once a week dance class that is her way getting a break from looking after me. “I won’t be long, love you” she always says as she is leaving and she also does a verbal checklist to make sure I have a drink, the telephone at hand etc and then she is gone, the front door closes. Its now that my mind is drawn to the outside world, its strange to think that outside these walls life carries on, people are busy working and getting on with their everyday routines. Its the weekend and many people are enjoying a break from the 9 to 5 routine of work and they are so happy to have a lay in and a day to themselves. I can remember how a Friday felt, relief that the working week was almost done and I could relax for two days with my family. Now? Now I want nothing more than to be at work, talking with my colleagues, socialising whilst working and paying my way in society.
I’m fortunate because I have a wife, I have a family and so I have people to talk to, people who make sure that I’m alright, I admit that when that door closes and I’m all alone, I struggle because it’s then that I realise my situation. My dream is far from the one that is fed to the public about people who are reliant on welfare, my dream is to one day return to work and become part of everyday life, to earn a wage that gives me back some pride and stops people treating me like I am a leech.
Until next time!