I laid there and felt the knife cut through the skin on the pad of my left big toe, a sharp cut like a paper cut and I groaned at the sudden pain.
I wasn’t laid on an operating table, I wasn’t even laid in a hospital or doctors surgery, in fact I was laid on the settee under a blanket and my groaning drew my families attention away from the television. My daughter was sat at the end of the settee and I asked her to take a look at my toe, I explained what I had felt and she laughed “dad, seriously why would your toe be cut, how would it be cut”, she had a point and I already knew that it was unlikely to actually be cut. Other sensations are feeling like a nail is being driven through my knee and feeling like I am getting static electricity shocks in various places on my legs and feet.
I have CRPS, Complex regional pain syndrome and that is why it felt like my toe had been cut, a nasty pain syndrome that was triggered when I had my left knee replaced in 2010. I’m in the middle of a pain flare up and my legs feel like I have very bad sunburn, they are also hypersensitive and so I wear very soft pyjama bottoms all the time because anything that brushes against my skin causes pain, even the bed sheets hurt if I sleep just in my boxer shorts.

Many people have it worse than me, not only with CRPS but with a multitude of conditions. My organs are okay, my mind is okay just a little fuzzy from the meds and I can feed myself, that keeps me going and my motto “If it hurts, you’re still alive” has served me well for many years.
I may have had to let go of some dreams, but they are not lost and if it comes to that, I will build new dreams.

Until next time!

By Zechariah Richardson

Over 50, disabled, husband, father and gramps who reviews products and writes blog posts about his life, beekeeping, gardening and whatever pops into his brain!

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