I have been offered a procedure that might help stop my pain or knock the intensity of the pain down. Its called Spinal cord stimulation (SCS) and the procedure has two stages. In both stages a wire or wires are in my case fed up the spinal cord from the lower back and placed in position with millimetre precision, on the trial the wire is left hanging out of the back and dressings protect from infection, the wire is connected to a trial module and switched on, this stays on for seven days to see if it actually helps. The wire is then removed and if it helped a wait of about month is needed before the actual procedure, where a small device is attached to the newly placed wire and then implanted just above your bum cheek, this is charged by placing a matt over the area and is adjusted via remote control.
Now I was booked in for the trial last August, I had previously had appointments to discussing I was interested and if they thought I was a candidate, I also had a psychological assessment to see if I was mentally suitable. However about three weeks before the test I phoned up and cancelled.
The truth is that I got scared, I know this surgery will help or at least has a good chance of making things better but I just couldn’t do it.
I have had thirteen knee surgeries (and my appendix removed) and I have never been nervous, but this really rattled my cage.
I had done the usual Google searches and rummaged through forums and scared myself, but I also think that after my knee replacement and being left in even more pain, I’m also just not as brave now and I am now generally not as confident as I once was, I used to think I was invincible!
So it’s now five or six months later and I have been through a very bad patch and so I’m doubting my decision to cancel, I’m fortunate that the pain clinic have said that I can be considered again and I have an appointment in March to ask further questions that were brought about by my Google searches and I think they might hate the fact that people Google. I’m not sure if I will have the procedure, I’m very much torn between a need to reduce my pain and pure fear!
Until next time!