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Road closed?

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Yesterday evening my pain levels dropped and they continued to drop, I have no idea why because I hadn’t taken any morphine and even if I had, they wouldn’t be a 2, yep my pain levels dropped to a 2!

A 2 is nothing to me, my best is normally a 5 and a normal day is 6 plus. You might be wondering what I’m on about, unless you deal with pain or have been in hospital you might not know about pain scores, a doctor or nurse always asks you to grade your pain with 0 being no pain and 10 the worst pain you could imagine. This is how I communicate my pain to my family, my wife asks “you okay?”, “6!” I reply.

So I’m laid in bed last night and my pain is not bothering me at a “2”, my wife says that it’s the ideal chance to get a good night’s sleep and I couldn’t agree more. I turn over but I’m not settled because I am so used to going to sleep in a lot of pain, I don’t know how but I do manage to sleep whilst in pain.
I often describe my pain as noise, I have a deep bass that is a constant rumble just like when a boy racer drives past your house with his music blaring out and the bass is felt through the house, low and deep. I then have a sudden noise, high pitched that is the nerve pain that shoots out without warning and makes me jump and curse.
Last night there was a silence, my body was quiet and it felt very odd. I was reminded of when we once moved house, the house was on a very busy road and our bedroom was at the front of the property, we moved to a quiet side road and there was nothing, no traffic and it was strange and last night I felt the same, I felt as though the road was closed and the traffic had stopped, a silence that I should have welcomed but instead I couldn’t stop thinking about the lack of noise inside my body and also wondering, when will the pain return.
Road closed?

Its morning and the pain has returned, its a 5 and I have no idea why it dipped. You might think I’m mad because I should have just been happy that my pain levels had dropped and I was, I guess we learn to cope with what we have.

Until next time!


1 thought on “Road closed?

  1. A truly ‘eye opening’ and thought provoking post. I notice so many similarities to my situation although in completely different areas of affliction. You are such an inspiration x

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