Whilst my limbs are painful and my joints are as smooth as my wife’s mashed potato, my brain is convinced that everything is okay and it wants my body to join in on activities that it just can’t handle anymore.

Being a male brain the one activity that my brain tells me I am okay to handle is sex, of course it doesn’t matter that my brain tells me that’s is a good idea and that my body dumbly follows along, they both have to pass the health and safety test and this is administered by my wife!
It goes something like this
My wife “what are you doing”
Me “you know”
Wife “if you rest up tomorrow, and your pain levels are okay, we will see!”

It’s hardly the most romantic set up and of course I often keep my pain levels to myself in the hope that I can get lucky, my wife unfortunately isn’t easily fooled and I am always shocked to know that my best efforts haven’t worked and she knows that I’m in too much pain.

Now the other day I did rest up, my pain levels were down to a low 5 out of 10 and the planets were aligned in a certain order and the moon was a nice shade of blue and so I managed to engage in the rare act of sex with my wife.
Its not sex like we used to manage or should I say like I used to manage, but after years of trial and error we have found something that works, don’t worry I’m not about to get descriptive or draw a diagram, I will just say that it works.
A few hours before we go to bed I take some Oramorph and afterwards I take another dose, but despite dosing up and being very gentle and careful, the pain levels still start to rise and this is the reason that I am now in a lot of pain. Its not because of having sex last night though, it was two nights ago and I am still very much paying the price, last night I hardly slept and I just laid there staring into the darkness.

I guess that quite a few people who read this will wonder why I still put myself through this, I guess the main reason is that I don’t just love my wife, I am still in love with her after 25 years and as I said before, my brain is still very active and male.

By Zechariah Richardson

Over 50, disabled, husband, father and gramps who reviews products and writes blog posts about his life, beekeeping, gardening and whatever pops into his brain!

8 thought on “Post sex flare up!”
  1. I was wondering this morning I’d hear from you via email. Then it occurred to me that your email may have gotten caught in spam folder or something? If you’ve already emailed me, please do so again and put CRPS in the subject header. There’s a publishing possibility for you.

  2. I have had CRPS since 2008 (right hand).
    I noticed in 2010 that sex REDUCES my CRPS pain. Couldn’t explain it at the time, but experienced it.
    Unfortunately, I’m single again.
    Fortunately, I found a book this summer called “The Oxytocin Factor” by Dr. Kerstin Uvnas Moberg. This doctor explains that the hormone oxytocin is released during the key monent during sex AND that oxytocin is a pain reliever. Oxytocin can even be released during a good snuggle if you approach it right….
    Fortunately, I discovered a new musician on the radio whose music I absolutely enjoy. I bought his CD and am playing it, literally, several times a day. While I listen to it, I focus on generating the hormone oxytocin.
    I saw my CRPS specialist last week. I showed her this book on oxytocin, told her about my music CD, and was happy to inform her that my pain level is down SIGNIFICANTLY. The pain’s not gone, but it’s MUCH REDUCED.
    The good news is that this book, “The Oxytocin Factor,” is very readable and very informative. I’d like to encourage you to get the book. It might help you find an approach to “sex with CRPS” that brings about the oxytocin benefits I’ve found.
    I find the book to be priceless.

    1. Thank you, I will have a look for the book. I have actually found that my pain levels have improved our relationship, its actually made me realise that penetrative sex isn’t everything, I wish I had this mentality years ago because our love life is better than it has ever been. I hadn’t actually noticed a pattern with pain levels and intimacy but I will see if it does help.

      1. I’m a published author. Would like to discuss a writing idea with you off-blog. Is there a way in WordPress for us to “word-chat?” Or do we need to exchange email addresses?

  3. Seriously enjoyed reading this! Your writing style is very engaging and fun to read! Thanks so much for sharing. 🙂
    You might also enjoy my blog, check it out if you get a chance.

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