There is no denying that living with constant pain is draining both physically and mentally, but it is possible to have pleasure and pain, and I don’t mean that in a ‘spank me’ kind of way!
As Ronan Keating once sang 🎵Life is a rollercoaster🎵 and yes it is true that quite often, I spend more time down than up, but this time of year, when the rain finally buggers off, the ups are provided by the garden and the wildlife that visits it.
And it lifts me mentally!
Every year when we are in the midst of winter and my mental health is not very good, my wife reminds me that I feel that way every year and as soon as Spring comes, I will feel better.
And that is what happens when your mental health is low, you lose sight of the times when you are on the up because all you can see is the gloom of being in that dip!
So when my wife reminds me, I open up the photos’ folder on the laptop and I flick through all the photos that I have taken of our garden.
It is a double edge sword though, the fact that we rent and that at any time we could be told that we need to move, that is one thing that I struggle with the most. The landlord phoned a couple of months ago and said we may need to move and instantly I was sent spiralling.
But we are safe for now and I need to not think about it.
I pray for a miracle, that we somehow get the money to purchase here and I can live here for the rest of my days!
So we have to live in the now!
And I do that though my love of the garden.
When we moved in about 9 or 10 years ago, there was one small border as you can see in the photo.
So as well as pleasure from just being in it, it has been the source of a lot of pain through all the work that we have put in to turn from what it was, to what it is now!
So many people like me rarely venture out of the front door.
We spend the majority of our time at home and one day merges into the next and before you know it, a week, a month and then a year has passed by.
To those that aren’t in this situation and especially after lockdown where they realised what it is like, people will often ask “How do you do it?” or they simply say “I couldn’t do it!”
We don’t do it because we want to or because we can, we literally have no choice.
So for me and many others, having a garden or an outdoor space can be a sanctuary where we can escape the confines of the walls of our home.
My garden brings both pleasure and pain, but it is my Eden!
Do you garden even though it will cause extra pain or fatigue?