“Holding onto anger is like drinking poison
and expecting the other person to die.”Unkown
I have had anger consume me, having it rolling through my thoughts and especially at night when I can’t sleep. Laying there in the dark going over what happened and what I would like to do to that person!
All it ever achieved was to make my mental health worse. The other person involved likely carrying on with their life and never thinking about it and if they did?
Well they would likely not see that they were in the wrong!
I won’t go into the why and what happened but for many years I let this hatred and this anger, the lust for revenge consume me and what I was doing was feeding the hurt, making it grow everyday and never having a chance to heal.
But now I have managed to let it all go and I mean properly let it go, not saying I have and then going back to it a few days later.
I even sent an email to one of the people and explained it from my side but put in the email subject line that this was not me attacking them but just explaining.
I fully understand that it is not easy to let go of these negative emotions, I know because it took me many years to actually be able to move on and heal, but heal I have and I can tell you that if you manage it, you feel free!
It is about acceptance!
This terrible thing has happened to you and caused you mental harm, distress and no matter how many times you go over it, it will never change, in fact it will grow in your mind and consume you.
The past is the past and nothing we do today will ever change the events of the past.
For me blogging played a massive part in healing the hurt from the past but you can also help yourself by writing it down which can give us a better understanding of the events.
Now I don’t mean that because it is written down, that you will see that it wasn’t what it was, but it enables us to process the event or events in a different way.
You also need to dismiss the thoughts when they pop up, distraction is a great tool and you can then occupy your mind with either a different thought or listening to music, exercise, meditation, walking and even the tapping technique.
The basic technique requires you to focus on the negative emotion at hand: a fear or anxiety, a bad memory, an unresolved problem, or anything that’s bothering you. While maintaining your mental focus on this issue, use your fingertips to tap 5-7 times each on 12 of the body’s meridian points. Tapping on these meridian points – while concentrating on accepting and resolving the negative emotion – will access your body’s energy, restoring it to a balanced state.https://www.thetappingsolution.com/what-is-eft-tapping/
But you can also just tap on your wrist, your leg or on a surface!
You need to find what works for you, exercise helps but might not help everyone, find your thing, find your distraction and utilise it to free you from this repetitive and harmful thought process.
Because trust me, when you do, it is like being freed from a cage and the freedom is incredible.
I still on occasion have thoughts of the events of the past spring into my mind but I now just dismiss them and occupy my mind with other thoughts, thoughts that make me happy and not angry.
Set yourself free!