SATONMYBUTT

Blogger and Reviewer

Finally happy with my image

3 min read
Wheelchair users get really cold legs and feet!

We all have that moment when we see a photo of ourselves, catch our image in the mirror or see a video of ourselves and we repel in horror!

I don’t think I have ever been totally happy with the person I see in the mirror and I have in particular shied away from full length shots of me sat in my wheelchair.

I know you know what I mean.

satonmybutt blogger and product tester

How many of us sit there cropping a photo to exclude the bits we don’t like or adding filters and screaming at a friend or loved one “delete that, don’t you dare post that!”

One of the things that has come from blogging but mainly the reviews is that I have learnt to accept who I am and be happy with what I see on the screen.

I have edited countless hours of reviews footage using the Shotcut software and at first I hated it, listening to my voice, seeing myself on camera, but slowly over time it becomes the norm and you learn too accept what you see and hear.

Me before being bearded

Having a beard has played a massive part in this, despite the many who keep telling me to shave. I am happier with my image, I prefer my look with a beard.

I had a goatee beard and shaved head for around 20 years, now looking back I think that this was partly because having CFS and Mental Health issues, I used it as an armour. It made me look tougher, stronger and I liked that because inside I felt so weak.

Four years ago I decided to grow a full beard and it was only meant to be a temporary thing but I loved it so much that it stayed.

But still I would if possible, avoid full length photos and so this year I forced myself to post more photos of me sat in the wheelchair and again I have now accepted it.

And it feels good to finally after 52 years, to be happy with who I am and the final step was when I decided to let my hair grow again. I was sat on the bed with the clippers and going round my ears on grade 0 and I called my daughter in and asked her to clip but leave the very top alone.

Again it was meant to be temporary, I was just curious at how grey my hair would be if I let it grow but the more it grew, the more I liked it and so did my family with my mum being very happy with my decision.

So at 52 years of age, I am finally happy with the man I see in the mirror. The grey hairs, the wrinkles, the excess weight and being a wheelchair user and even now not being worried about my legs which I would always try and cover up as the muscles have wasted away and I have scars.

And it is a great feeling, to no longer repel at the sight of your own image, to have confidence in just accepting that is who we are.

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