I’m sat on the settee (no surprise) and I’m sort of pleased it’s morning, last night was a night from hell and now I’m sat here foggy and in a daze after sparring with pain in the darkness.

I was naughty and took two extra dihydrocodeine and a dose of Oramorph when I went to bed, I knew that if I didn’t manage to drop the pain a notch or two I wouldn’t get to sleep. I laid there waiting for the meds to kick in but my opiate tolerant body didn’t feel it and so I laid there staring into the darkness.
My wife cycled through snoring and then saying “I can’t sleep until I know you are asleep” and she never believes me when I tell her she was actually just asleep and so I just humour her and say “okay”.

I did manage to drift off after a few hours but then I was awake again, I had no idea what time it was but I reached out towards my bedside table and grabbed the oramorph and took another dose. The stopper from calpol bottles fits perfectly and the syringe makes it easier to grab a dose in the darkness, I hate taking too much but when I’m in that much pain I just dose myself up, I’m lucky that I don’t have any weird side effects like hallucinating as some people do.

The only good thing about not sleeping is listening to the dawn chorus, I never tire of hearing the birds welcoming daylight with a song and I envy their ability to just take to the sky and not have the worry of things like money.

Today this zombie plans on trying to nap when possible, I’m curled up on the settee with the dog and I expect I will stay that way until it’s time for bed and I start the whole process again.

By Zechariah Richardson

Over 50, disabled, husband, father and gramps who reviews products and writes blog posts about his life, beekeeping, gardening and whatever pops into his brain!

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