SATONMYBUTT

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Why I won’t wear a face mask!

5 min read

It is now compulsory to wear a face covering in shops in England, failure to do so could result in a £100 fine, but I won’t be wearing a face mask!

Since the late 80’s I have suffered from severe anxiety and today I had my first anxiety attack in a very long while.

At first I didn’t know what was happening to me, I had never even heard of an anxiety attack or panic attack back then and the fight or flight set in and I tried to escape and quit my job.

I found out just a few years ago that I have PTSD and over the years I have learnt a lot about why it happens and what happens but nothing helped and it ruined our lives.

I wouldn’t travel on motorways or very busy A roads as getting stuck in traffic would trigger an anxiety attack, so we didn’t go on holidays and rarely visited family and when we did, I would choose to travel very early morning or late at night.

But a few years ago I started using CBD and everything changed!

I felt free, I felt like I used to before all this had started and I had forgotten how that felt.

I started using lifts again which is a real result as being a wheelchair user and avoiding lifts, well it can be problematic.

CBD changed my life and I am a firm supporter of using it for anxiety, PTSD etc but also for a lot of other reasons but this post is about anxiety.

So anyway

I went down to the pharmacists to pick up a prescription, it is literally just 482 feet from our front door and so very handy and a very quick visit.

Bearded man wearing a face mask

I got to the end of our road and suddenly thought that I should wear a face mask and so I took one out and put it on and went in to get my prescription.

There was only one person in there and they were waiting for a prescription, so it was straight up to the counter and tell them I had a prescription to pick up.

I was told they would do it but I could tell that despite just two of us in there, they were very busy sorting a lot of prescriptions.

So I waited!

I then started to feel like an anxiety attack was coming on, the face mask was stifling and I felt trapped, my hands started to shake and I had the urge to get out of there.

I won’t go into any explanation of why all this started just over 30 years ago but as I sat there, I started to hear a sound that wasn’t real, it was a sound from back when this all started.

Yes wearing the face mask had triggered my PTSD.

I was sweating despite the fact it is overcast and only 18°c today, I was getting images in my head and the sound was persistent, I wanted to rip the face mask off to get some air but felt it would be odd to do so whilst in there and now there was also someone else waiting behind me.

It seemed like forever, I guess it was only about 15 minutes really but it didn’t feel like that and I fought the urge to escape by taking it one minute at a time.

I think the pharmacist must have realised something was wrong as I must have looked like a real state when she was talking to me about the prescription when she brought it out.

My breathing was fast, I was sweating and shaking and I must have looked like a rabbit caught in the headlights of a car.

But I know it was a one off, I know I won’t be wearing a face mask again as I can’t handle that although I have a feeling of victory because I didn’t escape as the adrenalin surged through me causing the fight or flight response.

The worrying thing is not that I might encounter the police and risk being fined, I have a genuine reason for not wearing one, but there have been many reports of people saying they will assault anyone they see without one!

Yes that is the sort of response we can expect from certain individuals in our great and wonderful country.

I am a wheelchair user and so it is obvious that I have a disability, however there are many people who have a hidden disability and will not be able to wear a face mask.

I think the risk of physical assault is slim, but the chance of being verbally assaulted is very high. I already do not feel totally safe when I am out because people look upon the disabled as a lower class and our inability to work means we are scroungers.

My review of the GuardianG1 D5 Mini Body Worn Camera

For that reason I wear a body worn camera when I am out!

It is sad that people with a disability or chronic health condition feel unsafe, we have so much to contend with already and this added problem means many stop going out!

CBDology CBD Gummy Bears

I am currently using CBD edibles from CBDology and because I am taking CBD regularly, I have been free of anxiety attacks for a long time (years) and I think this one would have been a lot worse.

So if you suffer from anxiety attacks, I can highly recommend using CBD, it is a natural product with no side effects and it works, it works better than anything I have ever been prescribed.

CBDology - Home | Facebook

But please make sure that you purchase your CBD from a reliable company like CBDology as there a lot of people out there trying to make money by selling products that aren’t CBD, Hemp oil is sold on Amazon and leads you to believe it is CBD and that won’t work and you will waste your money and then think that CBD doesn’t work.

3 thoughts on “Why I won’t wear a face mask!

  1. So you can wear your bee keeping mask, Which covers and actually encases your entire head…

    But you can’t wear a face mask which just covers “yer schnozz and yer fizzog”?

    Anywho, no matter to me, you’re not close enough to have any effect, or affect me, so, I’ll say nothing more.😝 (About you not wearing a mask)

    Not sure it’s wise to broadcast that kind of thing on the internet though… Especially as you’ve often said where you live.

    1. I struggled when I first used the veil, when I did it up I felt that anxiety rising and that feeling you get.
      It isn’t as bad as a mask as it isn’t hot or stifling, the two together would be hell!
      Donna bought me one of those visor/face shield things for when we go out, so I am protected.
      The mask got me because that not being able to get a fresh breath, plus being sat waiting for something so feeling like I can’t just leave.
      I did try again as sometimes it is just a bad day but I can’t do it, I just end up in a mess!

      1. Simon is on his way to the pharmacy to collect my meds, he was going to put his mask on prior to leaving the house, he then said “no way, can’t do it, too hot”.

        Simon suffers severe asthma, not that that was having an effect or affecting him, he also has Asperger’s, which can obviously have an effect on him wearing a mask.

        He obviously wore the mask when he went into the pharmacy, but he couldn’t walk there to do so. It’s already 24.8°C in the shade here, today.

        When we went to the docs for my depo, Simon was getting rather anxious/stressed/hot and bothered, partially because of the amount of people they’d allowed in the tiny waiting room at the same time, (there’s no way we were even a metre apart!) partially because the mask does make him “hot and bothered” anyway, and partially because some absolute DICK was sitting very closely behind us, WHISTLING of all things!

        I begged Simon to let me say something, and he said not to. (I typed it on my phone lol)

        I just sighed/huffed, VERY loud and he seemed to take the hint because he stopped. Unless he stopped because he was so close behind us, he could read my screen. 😳🤔

        I wanted to tell him that it was bad enough that we had to breathe in his exhaled air, albeit through his mask already, but by whistling he was forcing it through very quickly and no doubt “spittling” (is that even a word?!) Too.

        I’m glad that we don’t go out tbh, I would wear a mask if I did, but I wouldn’t remotely like it.

        I’m an abuse victim, and the mask just flashes me back to either being forcefully gagged (not in a sexual kinky way) or him holding his hand over my mouth.

        I trigger numerous times a day every day anyway, even from the most inanimate objects, (He used a lot of different things when abusing me) so I’m used to dealing with that bit, and I believe I’ve honestly done well to not have a full blown anxiety attack like I used to… But, it’s still there, the trigger, the feelings, everything puts me straight back in that room.

        Need to stop now. The most annoying triggers are the triggers I cause myself.

        I should have said in my comment that I really do understand and that I empathise too, but as I said on messenger, I struggle and often think of what I should say when it’s too late.

        I truly hope that there’s no-one living near you, like you said, about them threatening to lynch people who don’t…

        Take care dude.

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