When my pain levels became life changing and I lost my mobility I mourned the loss of many things, simple things like walking on the beach, being able to mow the lawn which is something I thought I would never miss, but most of all I mourned my sex life, well I should say our sex life.
A man is meant to be able to take control in the bedroom and I felt that because I couldn’t get on top (or behind) my wife anymore, that my sex life was ruined. Sure we carried on the best we could but I would always get very frustrated at not being able to do my part and I couldn’t imagine how I could ever have a decent sex life again, what I failed to realise was that things could be a lot worse, at least my man bits still worked!
We carried on the best we could but as well as being limited during sex, it became less frequent because of my pain levels, we had to wait until I was having a good day and then take into account that in the following days I would be having a self inflicted flare up, this was no good if I had a hospital or doctors appointment and so that all had to be taken into consideration. We thought that we were doing well and so carried on and consoled ourselves with the thought that it was better than no sex life.
Things changed when one day I was having a flare up, despite being in a lot of pain I announced to my wife that I was feeling rampant, she turned me down as she usually did when I was in too much pain and she says only a man could want sex when in pain. However that night we got close and cuddled and I shall go as far as to say that I took care of my wife’s needs and that was despite the fact that I was as the saying goes “high and dry”, I was content and just happy that my wife was happy.
I’m happy to report that our sex life is now better than it’s ever been, once I stopped worrying about what I couldn’t do and focused on what I could do, we managed to figure out how to have a full sex life when one partner is disabled and even if I do say so myself, its bloody amazing!
Until next time!