Disability wobble!

I can remember the first time I used a wheelchair, a sense of freedom and yet a sense of imprisonment. Then when I recieved my wheelchair I didn’t use it for weeks, this was mainly because of fear, a fear of losing my freedom.

Since then I have gotten use to being in a wheelchair and I have often said that the wheelchair doesn’t bother me, it’s the pain. I would be okay with the rest of my life in a wheelchair and without the pain I would be able to do so much more.

However last night I had a wobble, a strange thing happened. I went to go to the kitchen and the caster wheel on my wheelchair caught on something, this isn’t unusual because our fourteen month old grandson spreads his toys everywhere and just to get to the toilet, I have to ask for help to clear the way and I have often cursed a toy car or a wooden block, but last night I cursed the wheelchair and suddenly had a feeling that I hadn’t felt for some years.

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I spoke to my wife about it when we went to bed, I told her how I felt like I couldn’t do this anymore, how I suddenly felt very trapped and was unsure how I could face being disabled after one trivial incident.

I do also struggle when I see a programme on the television and its rolling hills and beautiful countryside, I miss being out in the middle of nowhere with my boots on, walking for hours.

I don’t know why I had that moment last night, but I’m happy to report that today all is good!

5 thoughts on “Disability wobble!”

  1. Walking for miles and miles was one of my former pleasures. I’ve taken the scooter into the woods where there are paths, and found it very enjoyabled although I was chilled as I hadn’t worn enough clothes. Yes, it’s funny how people change their attitude to you when you’re in the chair or scooter. I think it’s fear related. Becoming disabled is something noone wants… Although, like you, the chronic pain is far more debilitating. Take care 🙂

  2. I understand completely! Mostly I feel happy to use a wheelchair, and would be fine if I didn’t have all the pain I have. But recently I’ve damaged my shoulder and suddenly I’m stuck- limited in using my wheelchair. It’s so hard. And I agree- I feel sad when I see scenes of rolling hills, and woodlands.. But promanades by the sea are often good for wheeling, and I love to be by the sea.

    1. Very true and I live 5 minutes from the seafront! I used to use crutches at home and a wheelchair when I went out but I have damaged my shoulders as well, too many years spent using crutches has left me not only shoulder problems but also carpal tunnel and painful hands.

  3. Glad to hear things are better today for you.

    The only time I use a wheelchair is when I’m at an airport and can’t get to the departure gate.

    I feel myself shrink in the chair. I no longer enjoy airport shopping as my viewpoint is lower down from my usual 5ft9in, everything seems strange and people prefer to address my husband instead of me.

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