In this post on Disability & Sex I will talk about the various issues caused by a disability in the upper body.
WARNING: THIS POST TALKS ABOUT SEX, MASTURBATION AND SEX TOYS!
Further posts will go on to talk about various disabilities or impairments and how that affects our sex life!
Many people shy away from talking about sex and yet we all have sex or at least want to have sex and when there is talk about sex it is not often that people talk about disability and sex.
When you have a disability or chronic health condition that inner desire for sex, for that closeness and that intimate act doesn’t go away or diminish. For most of us our brains are still telling us that we are still capable of having sex the way we used to, but unfortunately that isn’t the case.
There are many disabilities and impairments and many of those include problems with the shoulders, arms and especially hands. This can mean that we have to then rethink things when it comes to sex or masturbation.
I have damaged my shoulders, wrists and hands from using crutches for so many years and I now have arthritis in my hands, carpal tunnel and an impingement in my shoulders. The level of pain in these areas and the stiffness in my hands varies. I also have CFS and so suffer with extreme fatigue.
My wife has Hypermobility Syndrome and so she can also suffer from pain and joint problems.
I have been with my wife for 28 years now and I realise that I am very lucky, dating can be filled with many problems and I can’t imagine how it must be when you have a disability and or chronic illness.
My wife and I have figured out how to change our sex life for us to manage with the various issues.
Since Ann Summers reps started hosting home parties and then the brand moved onto the High Street, people were able to purchase sex toys without having to build up the courage to go to one of the seedy sex shops that were in the back streets with painted out windows and meaning you had to check to make sure you weren’t seen before ducking inside.
Now if you suffer from problems with hands, wrists or arms then sex, foreplay and masturbation may be difficult or even impossible but there are a range of sex toys available that may help or be better than the ones you have already tried!
Some people may find that pleasuring their partner or themselves causes extra pain or stiffness in their hands and some sex toys can also cause problems as the intense vibrations designed for pleasure can also affect the hands. That is because some sex toys vibrate so intensely that those vibrations went through your hands and could flare up the joint or nerve problems.
But now some of the newer sex toys have more of a rumble as well as an intense vibration and this can be selected via the different patterns of vibration available.
Also they need to be lighter to cut down on fatigue in the hand and also pain from holding it and now with many different shapes available, some will also be better to hold in the hand and also a better shape if you have problems reaching the areas that need reaching!
So what is available?
Well Lovehoney produce a massive range of products to suit all needs and desires, if you are female and you or your partner can’t hold a sex toy then why not try one of the remote controlled sex toys.
or even some remote controlled knicker vibrators?
For the men there are also a wide range of devices available, now for some reason and I am not sure why? People seem to be more accepting of a vibrator for a woman than of a sex toy for men. But that shouldn’t really be the case, after all, what is good for one, is good for the other.
There are products called Fleshlights available, they have that name as they look like a torch, a flashlight, well that is until you take the end off to reveal what it actually is. Now these can be just a plain sleeve or some are even the exact replica of certain female pornstars vagina’s and you can even get a holder that suctions to the shower wall or any smooth surface so you are hands free so to speak!
We recently were sent the Happy Rabbit from Lovehoney and certainly the rumble style vibration is better than the intense vibration patterns on my hands. Also the design of the Happy Rabbit made it easier to use and the controls were very easy to use!
So a disability doesn’t or shouldn’t necessarily mean the end to achieving a great orgasm and it certainly doesn’t mean that it is an end to fun in the bedroom or wahtever room you choose!