In the past few days a girl/woman who was in my year and tutor/form group at senior school has set up a Facebook page, I left school in 1983 and so like most people, I have forgotten about the majority of people who were in my year.
Now I would like to retell stories of how I was popular at school, good looking, strong and how those school years were happy, alas I could but that would be a lie!
I enjoyed primary school and I have always enjoyed learning, however the transfer to senior school showed me how cruel this world is.
I became victim to a few at school and back then I decided that the best way to cope was to avoid the trouble, so I started to skip lessons and would hide out in the toilets or outside in some secluded spot. Unfortunately we had to travel to school and back everyday on a supplied coach and soon some kids from my close neighbourhood also decided that it was amusing to make my life hell. So suddenly I was unable to avoid trouble and so I would just try and convince my mum that I wasn’t well.
I was punished for not going to school, I was constantly sent to see the head of our school house and when he asked why I wasn’t at lessons, I told him and I told others why, but for some reason I was punished for not attending rather than getting help with the problem.
Those five years were long, they were unproductive because I missed lessons and even failed at some lessons so that I would be moved to the lower sets where I was free of bullying. I left school with very bad grades and that is what I regret the most, I had the potential to do very well academically and I also missed out on learning physics, chemistry and biology, the very subjects that I couldn’t wait to learn about.
So now I find myself added to a Facebook group with photos of teenagers having fun, they look happy and its almost like it’s a different school to the one I attended. I have avoided all of the reunions because I’m hesitant to attend because of how I feel about those days.
Of course then there is the the fact that we all want to go to reunions and show people that we have succeeded and “look at me”, I know that I would firstly feel hesitant about having to smile and say “oh yes I remember you” and yet I’m silently recalling how a few of these people caused me so much misery and I will be wanting to tear their liver out and choke them with it, well maybe that’s a bit harsh, just tear it out then. lol